Unf**k Yourself : Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Life - Gary John Bishop

Unf**k Yourself : Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Life

How Willing Are You To Win?

“If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one’s feeling by controlling one’s thoughts — or by changing internalized sentences, self-talk with which one largely created the feeling in the first place” ~ Albert Ellis.



The author poses a question: How willing are you to consider that your current life situation is not a result of the weight of your current circumstance but rather the weight of self-talk or internal conversation that pulls you down? Realizing this fact is a positive step in the right direction to helping you get right your spectacular life.

No matter how difficult or challenging your circumstance is; your reactions towards them determine greatly how they eventually turn out in your life. Hence, making positive assertive claims about your circumstance — by strongly believing you can pull through, is a way to break free from such circumstances.

Stop blaming luck, other people, and outside influence, on your situation. You have the life you’re willing to build, so give up the attitude of defending your circumstance as they are if you really want a positive change in your situation.



“Circumstances don’t make the man — they only reveal him to himself” ~ Epictetus.


The author further explains that willingness is a state that enables you to engage with life and see a situation from a new perspective. It all begins and end with you. You can’t be pressured into being willing and you can’t make remarkable life progress without willingness. In essence, get a complete hold of your thoughts and liven up the willing mind to make great exploits in life.


“Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great” ~ Niccolo Machiavelli.



You need the positive assertion “I am willing to break free from my current circumstance” because it profoundly enlivens you and opens you up to awesome experiences.

When you channel an unwilling state correctly, you can ignite resolve and determinations that will help you surmount your current situation. Depending on the situation, some persons become driven by the assertion “I am willing”, while others are driven by “I am unwilling”. The author gives an instance, saying — are you willing to find a new job? Yes, “I am willing”. Are you willing to stay in the job that you hate? No, “I am unwilling”. Stating and facing your unwillingness to change enables you to take a comprehensive assessment of your life, accept the realities of your life, let go of the judgmental view you have of yourself, as well as lure you into making effort to begin a change.

In essence, both assertions of willingness and unwillingness can be channeled positively depending on the situation of use. When you begin to view the world through the lens of what you’re willing and unwilling to pursue rather than what it seems you want and don’t want, things start getting clearer and you begin to focus better. Willingness is a truth that only you can generate and when you successfully do so, it eliminates those judgmental and self-defeating thoughts that drown your life. When you’re willing to do what it takes, nothing else can distract you.

The author’s idea of willingness is that it is the lifeblood of the new, the infinite well of possibility and potential, a state where new futures are birthed and a new you can begin. Hence, if you ardently desire to begin a new life to success, be willing.

You're wired to win and you got this!

Life sometimes presents us with exhausting situations that make you want to believe you are a loser, but hey! Don’t give that losing thought a win.

Even when you think you’re losing in life, you’re actually winning because everything that happens is really a victory. You’re a winner, and everything you set your mind to do becomes reality. Gary gave an instance of people who fall strongly in love — at the initial stage, everything blossoms and it feels like a foretaste of heaven but as time goes by, the love may begin to wax cold until you eventually fall out. Perhaps, you didn’t see this coming, but even when you lose your relationship, you’re winning! You are winning at the life you have.

The author poses a question: How could a failed relationship be called a win? He explains that you won at a failed relationship because you achieved exactly what you set out to accomplish. This is because you were convinced from your subconscious mind that you weren’t worthy of a beautiful relationship, probably because of your past experiences — hence, you practically set out to achieve the state of your subconscious and you succeeded.

You’re always winning because your brain is wired to win. The problem only results when what you say you want differs from what you really want in your subconscious mind. So, you need to begin to regulate the thoughts of your subconscious mind because the mind is unconquerable — by changing your thoughts, you can use your unconquerable mind nature to act on all positive goals and dreams you have. This helps you to keep winning right.



“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. Therefore, guard accordingly and take that you entertain no notion unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature” ~ Marcus Aurelius.


You are wired to win, define your game plan, embrace your challenges and strive to get a comprehensive understanding of yourself in more meaningful ways. Demand greatness of yourself and then enjoy your winning game!

In the course of your winning game, you might feel a little down, a little defeated especially when it seems nothing is going your way and you realize the struggle is real. He proffers a solution to this, saying you need to change how you view problems and the world. Adopt a new, powerfully optimistic and grounded approach by telling yourself, “I got this”. Put your problems in perspective; this will help you believe you can handle it and help you focus better to see the light


“It is during our darkest moments that we focus to see the light” ~ Aristotle.


Get connected with who you really are and tell yourself “I got this".

Embrace your Uncertainties

We are sometimes faced with the fear of the uncertain world. But here’s the good news — uncertainty is where new happens. Gary believes that most people seek certainty and avoid uncertainty. He gave some instances which include — We want to know what to expect, where to go, what to wear, we want to prepared and safe always, we size people up before meeting them, we take supplements to prevent illness we don’t have yet. We dwell in lots of certainties because we are afraid of the uncertain world.

Our obsession with certainty can be regrettable and ineffective. Uncertainty is where great innovations happen, it is your personal pathway to opportunities, it is the region where you can grow and experience everything new. Sticking to your comfort or certainty region deters you from moving forward — you need to embrace uncertainty. Chasing certainty is like chasing what does not exist because you cannot exactly retain it — nothing in life is certain. We all live and grow in the world of uncertainty and the earlier you realize this fact, the easier for you to harness the potentials of uncertainty.

There is really no destination in life, there is only continuous exploration. One reason why many avoid uncertainty is the fear of being judged by others. You can never attain the height of your true potential if you keep wallowing in what others think. In fact, you get a complete turning point in your life if you ignore the idea that people’s opinions matter.

Embrace opportunity by taking some simple steps, start doing little by little the things that make you uncomfortable. Get out of that comfort zone and embrace the beautiful options that come with uncertainty. This will greatly transform your life, from your relationship to your career. You’ll no longer be hiding from life but living life to its fullest. Focus on the things you can control and stop worrying about what you can’t or what anyone thinks about you. Explore your world and tell yourself “I embrace uncertainty.

You’re not your thoughts, you are what you do, so stand relentless in it

You’re not defined by the internal conversations in your head; you are defined by what you do. In essence, you need to build a relentless stand in doings. As earlier discussed, the kind of thoughts you groom in your mind largely affects your predisposition to life and your life in entirety. A positive change in your thought means a positive change in your life.

Most of us allow our internal condition to affect what we do, but great performers and the most successful people have learnt to separate feelings from action. This is not to say successful people never doubt themselves or have the desire to procrastinate but they have learnt over time to focus.

Irrespective of how well you try to stay away from negative thoughts, they still come knocking. So, you need to learn to treat your thoughts and your actions independent of each other. You change your life by doing or acting, not by thinking, both positive and negative thoughts will have no impact on your success if you leave them where they lie. So, start doing (spring into action) if you want positive changes.

The author further explains that doing does not only make you do what you need to do but it’s ironically the quickest way to change your thoughts. Each time you act or do, you build a level of self-confidence and trust in yourself — this goes a long way in influencing your thoughts.

“Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action” ~ Benjamin Disraeli.

You’re not your thoughts — they are just random talks in your head which you have no control over. Hence, separate your thoughts from who you are and make this positive assertion — “I am not my thoughts; I am what I do.”

After making this resolve, think back on the huge successes you’ve had, you’ll realize that most of your biggest successes were born out of discomfort, uncertainty, and risk.

“Nothing in this life is worth having or doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt.

The greater the degree of discomfort experienced, the greater the difficulty and the greater the sense of accomplishment that comes after. It’s the reason why great accomplishments are rare because many enjoy their comfort zone.

In your journey to success, there will be all kinds of doubting and self-defeating thoughts but you need to stay focused and relentless if you really want to win. The author gave an instance of the world-renowned bodybuilder, Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was born to a poor family and dreamt of going to America and acting movies at a time when technology was not vast. To his parents, this was a dream that could never be accomplished, but Arnold stood relentless despite all odds because he believed in himself and was willing to do what it took to bring his dreams to reality.

Rather than worrying about whether to pull out or keep going, press on relentlessly — relentlessness has just one direction, forward. Until one day when you can look at your accomplishments with great amazement — there is no giving up!

Expect Nothing, accept everything and live a spectacular life

Sometimes, we subconsciously build hidden expectations in our business, career, relationships, and life in general, which get in the way of our real lives, issues and items that require our attention. The author thinks that expectations are like a mirage that diverts us from our true powers to take profound and decisive decisions — hence, you end up working on your hidden expectations instead of taking proactive decisions that positively impact your situation.

You need to cut out those hidden expectations to make a remarkable change in your success journey. The idea of how things should have been or how life should be doesn’t create a good sense of living. You gain a better sense of living when you come to terms with life’s uncertainty and understand your situation for what they really are rather than drown yourself in unproductive thoughts of your hidden expectations — accept your reality and deal with it.

He gives more insight saying when you expect nothing; you’re living in the moment. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t plan but when you make plans deal with whatever outcome the plan produces and don’t shrink yourself into depressive thoughts of your hidden expectations — dance to the tune of your plan and move on with life. You need to love the life you live, not the one you expected to have lived.

Your life, your successes, the power to change, the power to let go, all lies in your hands. So, embrace the potentials that are within your reach — make the positive assertion “I expect nothing and I accept everything.”

The author further advises that you take the necessary actions that are needed to effect a change and build a life that you can be proud of. He suggests ways to do this, which include — stop buying yourself off, stop blaming your past, stop doing what you’re currently doing to take hold of that freedom you’ve been missing, and start making decisions and actions that will propel you forward.

Conclusion

We all long to have a beautiful and spectacular life. Claim that greatness that’s yours by putting all the positive assertions above to action, relentlessly pursuing your goals and ultimately succeeding. “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop thinking and go in” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte.

Try this:
Do it now, cut out the self-defeating thoughts, be in control of your mind, separate your thoughts from your actions, drop the worries, excuses, distractions and hidden expectations, and love the life you live.