The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies For Sensitive People - Judith Orioff, M.D

The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies For Sensitive People

Learn to embrace your nature with The Empath’s Survival Guide

Learning to enjoy life as an empath can be difficult if you have no source of knowledge or personal experience. You might feel like you’re alone, you don’t fit in, something isn’t quite right, and you have no idea why your emotions swing from one end of the spectrum to another in seemingly the click of a finger. “The Empath’s Survival Guide” basically tells you that “hey, it’s okay!”

Judith Orloff is not only a highly experienced medical physician, but she’s an empath herself. This book doesn’t talk to you from the perspective of someone who hasn’t personally experienced the life of an empath, it talks to you from the personal experiences of someone who goes through the empath’s ups and downs every single day of her life. The difference is, Orloff has learned to harness and cope with these challenges, and she shares her experiences with you in this book. She’s also very keen to remind you that being an empath is actually a gift, even though it might not seem that way at the moment.

The world of the empath explained

Throughout Orloff’s career in medicine, she has seen and treated countless empaths, just like herself. She can easily recognise the symptoms of someone who is struggling with being an empath, and through this she has learnt that humans actually have a large sensitivity spectrum. Some don’t feel anything when around others, whilst others (empaths) absorb the happiness, misery, anger and stress of those around them like a sponge.

The problem is, when you don’t know how to deal with this type of situation, it can quickly leave you exhausted, stressed out, and down. Empaths feel everything to extremes and there is very little barrier between their own emotions and the emotions of others around them. A small amount of stimulation can be too much for a particularly sensitive empath, leaving them overloaded with sensory stimulation

Aren’t empathy and empath the same thing?

No. This is where a lot of confusion comes in, but there is a very real difference between general empathy that most of us feel, and being an empath.

Unless you’re a narcissist (more on that later) you will feel empathy as part of your emotional range. This means that when someone is going through a hard time, you sympathize with them and your heart goes out to them, hoping they feel better soon. You might even try and help them feel better. This is empathy, and it is also what allows you to feel extreme happiness when something is going your way.

However, being an empath is different. This means that you are able to sense the emotions of others without knowing anything about them. You can tell that they’re feeling happy, sad, angry, stressed, because you take on that emotion as your own when you’re within close proximity to them. Empaths are extremely sensitive to non – verbal clues, body language, and voices. Put simply, an empath feels things before they’re able to think about it and put it into perspective.

Did you know? 0.5-1% of the general population is diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and those with narcissism are the only people unable to feel empathy.

The Three Different Types Is Empath

Some people are also classed as Highly Sensitive People or HSPs. Empaths share many of the same traits with these people, but HSPs aren’t empaths either. If you're highly sensitive, you’re likely to need time alone, you’re quite sensitive to sensory stimulation, such as sound, light, and smell, and you’re not the biggest fan of large crowds or groups of people. HSPs also enjoy being in quiet and natural environments.

This is also true of empaths, but they’re also able to absorb energy from others into their own bodies. Orloff calls this energy “prana”, as it is known in Eastern healing. HSPs aren’t able to absorb this energy, which is what sets empaths apart. Through this, it can often be hard for empaths to tell whether what they’re feeling is their own emotion, or the emotion of someone around them.

Physical empath. You absorb the physical symptoms of others into your own body

Emotional empath. You soak up the emotions of others as your own

Intuitive empath. You often experience intuitive messages, telepathy and dream messages

If you feel that you are an empath, it’s important to try and pinpoint which type of empath you are, so that you can work out how best to manage it.

Did you know? 5 minutes of daily meditation can help you to cleanse yourself of the day’s stresses as an empath

You Don't Need To 'Toughen Up'.

Many empaths are often told that they’re too sensitive and they need to develop a tougher skin. This isn’t the case. Whilst being an empath can be hard sometimes, there is joy in it too.

As a child, many empaths are told they need to be tougher, but understanding their sensitivities is a far healthier way forward.

It’s not unusual for an empath to feel as if they’re emotionally hungover, and when spending time in large social groups, they often feel like they need to hide away to recover. An intense sensitivity to different smells, tastes, touches, temperatures and even tastes can be problematic in some ways.

Empaths feel everything intensely, good and bad. This is both a blessing and a curse.

Despite the downsides, you’re also able to feel joy, happiness and wonder more intensely than most people, which is certainly a positive side to being an empath.

Learn how to avoid being an emotional or physical sponge

If you can learn how to avoid becoming a sponge for the emotional or physical symptoms of those around you, you can manage being an empath and focus on the positive aspects, rather than the negative.

Orloff suggests a few different protection strategies you can try whenever you feel like you’re becoming overstimulated and taking on the symptoms of others around you.

Shielding is one particular strategy which is known to help empaths. To do this you simply need 5 minutes per day and you need to find somewhere quiet, where you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you loosen tight clothing and make yourself comfortable.

• Take a few deep breaths and relax, focusing on the breath.
• If any thoughts float into your mind, don’t pay them any attention and simply let them float back out again.
• Imagine that you have an energy core which runs through your body, from your toes and extending right up to the top of your head.
• As you feel relaxed, visualize a white or pink light which covers the area around your body, and a few inches above your head. Tell yourself that this light can protect you from anything and you feel happy within it.
• Once you’re ready, slowly bring yourself back into the present.

You can use this shield whenever you feel like you’re being a human sponge to the energy around you.

Another protection strategy is useful when you feel anxious or overwhelmed with emotions. This is a grounding visualization technique.

1. Sit somewhere comfortable and make sure that you’re away from computers, TVs or phones.
2. Once you’re ready, slowly bring yourself back into the present.
3. Visualize a large tree. This tree has a wide and very strong trunk. Visualize that it is within you and it runs down the middle of your body, starting at the top of your head and ending at your feet. Take a minute to feel the power of the tree.
4. Then, visualize the roots of the tree extending below your feet into the ground, connecting you with the safety and protection of Mother Nature.
5. Whenever you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed, visualize these roots and you’ll feel anchored to the ground once more.
6. When you’re ready, open your eyes and come back into the present.

These are two strategies that can be used quickly, whenever you’re starting to feel like things are getting a little too much.

Did you know? It is believed that globally, between 200-500 million people meditate on a regular basis.

Feed your soul and focus on your health

Youou need to start with the basics if you want to be strong enough to handle the challenges of being an empath. This means you need to eat healthy foods, particularly whole foods and avoid stimulating ingredients, such as too much alcohol, sugar, or caffeine.

It’s very easy for empaths to become physically unwell due to the absorbing of energy around them. Orloff has seen many patients who display typical empath-related conditions, such as adrenal fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, agoraphobia, other phobias, depression, chronic fatigue, pain conditions, fibromyalgia, social anxiety, and even panic attacks.

Modern medicine doesn’t really focus on how to handle these problems from the empath point of view, and Orloff often advises her patients to focus on natural methods at the same time, such as taking time in nature, minimizing stress, and taking alone time whenever you need it. Being in water is also a good coping mechanism, as well as using meditation techniques.

There are several ways you can try and avoid becoming overloaded and return to feeling grounded. Try exercising, questioning whether or not the feeling belongs to you or not, and using a mantra of “return to sender” if you feel that it’s certainly not your emotion.

Setting boundaries is also very important, so if you feel you need to leave the party early, do so and don’t feel you have to explain yourself. You should also make sure you get plenty of sleep on a nightly basis and try and do your best to minimise the amount of time you spend online; this will only cause overstimulation on top of everything else!

Did you know? Visualising that there is a cord between you and the person whose emotions you’re picking up can be a good way to rid yourself. Visualise the cord being cut and feel lighter as you do so.

The link between empaths and unhealthy coping strategies

Due to the challenges of being an empath and the fact that many people don’t know how to handle the situation, some empaths often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to deal with the overwhelming sensations. This is often overeating, gambling, shopping, sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.

It’s important to recognise when you’re using a negative behavior to deal with the extreme sensations and sensitivities you’re experiencing. You don’t need to numb yourself, you simply need to handle it in a healthier way. This means understanding your triggers and being mindful of what you're doing and how you’re doing it.

You could also try a protection strategy every day which helps you to overcome these challenges. Sit quietly and meditate on your breath for a short while; once you’re calm invite the energy of spirit into your space and recognise the warmth and love you feel around you. Focus on your heart opening and really feel the lightness of the moment. Once you realize how beautiful this feels, commit it to your memory and you’ll be able to use it during times of difficulty or when you’re moving towards an unhealthy coping mechanism.

You can also ask the energy for help to deal with difficult problems, but it’s best to focus on just one question at a time, to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Many empaths find spirituality such as this to help them with problematic coping methods.

Did you know? 12 step programmes and other support methods can be used to help you avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms and damaging habits

Respecting Boundaries In Relationship

One problem area for many empaths is love and sex. This is because empaths feel everything so deeply; the feelings they have for the other person will be intense, they may feel worried and want to run away out of fear of this intensity, and being around someone so closely can cause the empath to start picking up on their energies too.

It’s important that you don’t shut yourself off and run away from romantic situations. Orloff herself mentions that being an empath is often an internal conflict; you want to be loved, but you always want to be on your own. You need to learn to face it and manage it, so you can enjoy healthy and loving relationships in your life.

The problem is that many empaths are attracted to the wrong type of person, toxic people who can cause them more harm than good. It’s important for empaths to understand the difference between a real loving connection with another person and a simple attachment.

Empaths often become attached to someone who they see the potential in, rather than someone who shows them a genuine connection.

It’s important to be open with your partner and explain your nature as an empath. They need to understand and respect your sensitivities and you need to set healthy and fair boundaries so that you feel safe within the union. However, always be yourself

Beware Of Energy Vampire

The biggest threat to an empath is the energy vampire, and this umbrella term also includes narcissists.

Energy vampires literally suck the happiness and positivity right out of you, and they’re attracted to empaths because they’re so open-hearted and loving. You’ll know when you’ve spent time around an energy vampire because you’ll instantly feel tired, drained, you’ll be in a bad mood suddenly for no reason, you might be anxious, negative orangey and you’ll start to feel self-critical. You might also feel ashamed or controlled, maybe even judged.

Narcissists are extremely dangerous for empaths. Narcissists have no empathy, they actually have a disorder which means they don’t feel empathy like a regular person would. What they show you is an illusion, it’s not real, and because you want to believe in the best of people, you might be dragged into their illusion. Orloff calls it a “fatal attraction”.

The only way to protect yourself against people like this is to be on your guard. Don’t expect empathy from a narcissist, it’s simply not possible. Make sure that you guard yourself against manipulation tactics, and do your very best not to fall for their charms. You cannot be in a healthy relationship with a narcissist. If you need help to walk away, visualize yourself cutting the cord between yourself and the narcissist, saying a loving “thank you” as you walk away from the situation.

Did you know? Whilst any sex can be narcissistic, men are more likely to be diagnosed with NPD than women.

Find A Job Which Means Something To You

As an empath you have a wonderful and natural knack of helping other people. So, find a job which allows you to do that and which has meaning for you. Make sure that the line of work you opt for lines up with your specific sensitivities, to avoid you feeling overloaded or overstimulated on a daily basis. If you feel like your working days are sapping your energy in an excessive way, you’re in the wrong job.

You should however be aware of the energies of those around you, which can be difficult if you choose to work in an open plan office, for example. You can protect yourself in this situation by protecting yourself and creating “energetic boundaries”. Try looking for supporting relationships and avoiding potential energy vampires, and try placing green plants and photos of family members around the edge of your desk. This will create a barrier for negative energy.

Noise cancelling headphones can be useful if you feel like you’re being overwhelmed with noise in the office setting, but remember to take regular breaks and head outside for some fresh air too.

Did you know? A good visualization exercise for work is to imagine that your desk is surrounded by a golden egg of light. Only positive energy is allowed in and you feel safe once you're inside it.

Conclusion

Orloff is very keen to transmit the message that being an empath might be a challenge, but it’s not all bad either. It’s a gift, and a life adventure. You are able to see and feel things that others will never understand, and you’re able to feel the positive emotions in life to a greater degree than most.

We focus so much on the negative side of being an empath, but understanding the joy in it is also important. Learn to manage your sensitivities and protect yourself from rogue energy and you’ll find it far easier to focus on these positives, rather than the well-documented negatives.

Try this:
• Identify whether you are an empath and to what degree.
• Identify what type of empath you are, to enable you to focus on the best protection strategies.
• Make time in your busy schedule to spend as much time in nature as possible, helping to ground you and give you the protection of Mother Nature.